After a great day visiting you at school I went back to see you before karate and to let you know I was going to visit a friend in San Antonio. I told you that I would be home at night and I would take you to school in the morning. Now here I sit on Rob's couch exhausted from a long day. He's having a rough time and I just can't leave him here alone.
This post is going to be long but will be edited before you read it. I just want to preserve the details and emotions of the day and remove bits and pieces later. I think this blog is actually about me.
After I left your school at 3, I headed to San Antonio to visit Jeremey Casares who was caught in an apartment collapse and sustained some burns over three weeks ago. Today he had his 5th surgery at the burn center in San Antonio.
The drive to San Antonio was a beautiful 2 hours of some music, some quiet, and deep thoughts. I truly enjoy time on the road because it's time to be calm and reflect. I hope I can teach you the value of time alone someday.
When I arrived in San Antonio I picked up Ed who works at my station. Ed seemed a little off, but that's pretty normal. He has some struggles.
At the hospital I asked if I could have some one on one time with Jeremy. I wanted to stop the tough guy bragging and joking to have a real conversation. Jeremy was a cadet when I was a Team Leader down at training so I know him pretty well. He also works at 18A where I spent 7 years.
We had a really good talk. He relived the collapse and all everything involved. We dove deep into the emotions and feelings of being covered in bricks, unable to move while being burned and running out of air. We discussed many other things about the fire also as I try to learn as much as I can from others experience.
He told me when he gets back he wants to be a Team Leader which is a mentor type position for cadets.
I know this sounds scary and I'm being a little dramatic. In the end our job is overall very safe. I hesitate to share these things with you because I don't want to scare you for no reason.
More people came to visit and we moved out after a couple hours of visiting.
On the way home I talked to Ed about things he's been struggling with. It was getting really late and I was too tired to drive home so I decided to sleep on his couch.
Now this leaves you girls with my left overs again. Tomorrow I'll be on shift and stating a new project I was given. On Thursday I'll get home worn out and tired. I will do my best to give 100% but sometimes it's difficult. Tonight was a situation that I couldn't avoid, but it's compounded because I offered to teach a forcible entry class on Friday and Saturday which I could have said no to. I struggle bringing balance to my life. I must do better for you.
